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| Once Again |
| 02.19.05 (12:16 pm) [edit] |
Once Again,
I get left out in the cold.
Once Again,
I don't know what the hell's going on.
Once Again,
I'm the only one doing anything.
Once Again,
I'm the only one trying to make it work.
Once Again,
I'm lonesome.
Once Again,
I have no one to talk to.
Once Again,
I'm left with nothing.
Once Again,
I'm waiting by the phone.
Once Again I can't take all that's going on. You're supposed to be here to make everything better, to help me when I need you. But instead you're just making everything seem so much worse. Why can't you just be there for me like I need you to be??? Is it that hard to call and see how your "girl friend" is??? I don't see why you can keep saying that you're going to do these things but you never do. Don't you see what you're doing and how wrong it really is??? If you care about me and love me like you say you do, you wouldn't be doing the things you're doing to me. You need to be a man and either admitt that you were wrong and fix the problem, or just tell me you can't handle the relationship. I'm tired of what you're doing. And you should know that I can't handle going through this all the time. I've given up so much for you, but you can't seem to give up a couple minutes to call me and see if I'm all right. You can't even get away from your friends and your busy life for a couple hours to hang out with your girl??? What the hell is wrong with you???
Once Again,
You've said you're sorry.
Once Again,
I forgave you.
Once Again,
You did what you said you wouldn't.
Once Again,
I get hurt.
Once Again,
I'm left crying myself to sleep.
Once Again,
I don't know what to do.
Once Again,
I hope you'll change.
Once Again,
I say I won't take it anymore.
Once Again,
I miss your touch.
Once Again,
I'm left picking myself back up.
Once Again,
I'm tired of going through this.
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| All I need |
| 01.01.05 (11:53 am) [edit] |
All I need
Is someone to hold me
When the tears begin to flow.
All I need
Is someone to talk on the phone with
In the middle of the night.
All I need
Is someone to come running
When I need them the most.
All I need
Is someone to tell me they love me
And actually mean it.
All I need
Is someone that makes problems
Disappear into thin air.
All I need
Is someone who can make me laugh
With just one look.
All I need
Is someone to take the time
And tell me I'm special.
All I need
Is someone to talk to
And actually listen.
All I need
Is someone to take time out of their day
And hang out with me.
All I need
Is the little things in life
That make it that much more enjoyable.
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| No More |
| 10.23.04 (3:18 pm) [edit] |
You dropped me,
Never expecting me
To get up off the floor.
Now I got a new man
And now you're tripping,
Acting like you own me.
Get out of my face
And out of my life.
I've survived you,
I'm a better person
Because of it.
So leave me alone.
We all know
You really don't like me,
You just can't stand the fact
That I have someone else
And don't need you anymore.
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| Players |
| 10.23.04 (3:16 pm) [edit] |
Things are black,
Everyone talking smack
Behind my back.
They can't say it to my face,
Can't keep up the pace,
Can't run the race.
Tired of their crap
Thinkin' they can rap
Trying to set a trap.
I'm not falling for it,
Not going down in the pit
Not going to take the hit.
I know who they are,
They won't get very far,
Not even with the help of a car.
They can't play my game,
They should feel all the shame
'Cause they won't ever get this fame.
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| One Day |
| 09.05.04 (8:09 am) [edit] |
One day
The girl you call a geek
Will be a millionaire.
One day
The outcast guitarist
Will be a rock star.
One day
The shy girl
Will be a councilor.
One day
The popular girl with every guy
Will be a single mother.
One day
The jock of the school
Will be flipping burgers at McDonald's.
You never know what will happen.
What seems to be great one minute,
May turn into the worst the next.
Always remember:
The Lord works in funny ways,
But everything turns out for the better.
This poem is not meant to make anyone mad.
Please do not take offense to it.
It is only hypothetical.
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| A Wish Granted |
| 07.30.04 (12:52 pm) [edit] |
I'm so lucky,
I'm so blessed,
To have you now.
I've wished for you
For so long,
But never has my wish
Been granted.
Now you touch, hold, and kiss me.
You tell me
You love me,
That you'll never leave me.
Life before you
Was so dull,
So boring,
Unexciting.
Then you came
And brightened up my life.
I'm so lucky,
I'm so blessed,
To have you now.
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| Remember Me Forever |
| 07.29.04 (6:41 pm) [edit] |
[i][b]Remember me forever
Hold me in your heart.
Don't ever forget
All the times we spent together.
Never forget the good times,
Just the bad.
Remember me forever
Leave am imprint in your brain.
Don't ever forget
All the things there are to live for.
Carry on my legacy,
Never let my memory perish.
Remember me forever
Carry me in your soul.
Don't ever forget
Everything I fought for.
Never give up hope,
Just the bad thoughts.
Remeber me forever.[/b][/i]
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| Welcome |
| 06.28.04 (6:50 am) [edit] |
[i][b]You can't do it.
You're not good enough.
All things I hear
Every day of my life.
Do this...
Do that...
And I listen.
I don't stand up
For myself
And I try
To make everyone else happy,
Never worrying
About what it's doing to me.
I'm just a welcome mat,
A place where people
Wipe their feet
To go onto something better.[/b][/i]
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| Quicksand |
| 06.15.04 (10:09 am) [edit] |
I'm sinking,
Farther and farther down.
I frantically search
For anything or anyone
That will help me out.
Nothing's here.
The more I strugle
To get up and out,
The farther I sink.
It only took
One little step
To get here.
But it will take
The Jaws of Life
To get out.
It seems like forever
As I sink,
Knowing nothing
Can save me now.
I'm finally in over my head.
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| Going Under |
| 06.07.04 (6:18 am) [edit] |
It's as if I'm swimming
In an ocean of dispare.
I fight the waves,
I fight to keep
My head above all the water.
But no matter
How hard I try,
Huge tidal waves
Keep coming up behind me.
They knock me under.
Over and over.
Each time I fight to keep
My head above the water.
But with each wave
That knocks me down,
I begin to wonder
Why do I even bother
When I know
Another wave will come?
Then I see it,
In the distance.
My golden shore
With huge, green mountains
And palm trees all over.
It gets closer and closer.
Finally,
I see why
I fought the waves.
[i][b]I realize that when I post this blog, many of you are going to think that it is about some guy. And for all of those people who do think it is, [u]IT'S NOT ABOUT A GUY. IT'S ABOUT SOMETHING MUCH MORE IMPORTANT- IT'S ABOUT LIFE!!![/u][/i]
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| Hurt No More |
| 05.14.04 (9:07 am) [edit] |
You don't know how you hurt me or how you used me. Well, I'll tell you right now. You said you cared, that's why you wanted to me to tell you my problems. But that's only when you wanted something.
You were my best friend. The one I relied on. Then you say that I'm one of the only people you ever let get close to you. But yet if anything gets out about what we did, it would ruin your "reputation". What kind of shit is that? :x And you decide that I'm annoying and shallow. What did I ever do to you? Did you just change your mind over night? What the fuck is your problem? :evil:
I'm tired of feeling, tired of caring, and tired of hurting.
If I don't get out of this and let go, I'll never be able to do anything ever again. I continue to live unhappy and negative. I don't want that. So, I'm letting go. If you want to be friends, I'm okay with that, in fact, I'd really like that. If not, don't worry about it.
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| Over |
| 05.12.04 (6:32 pm) [edit] |
That's what we are.
It took me awhile
To finally realize
I don't need you.
It took me awhile
To finally realize
I'm better without you.
You put me down,
Never believed in me,
Took advantage of me
At my worst moments.
The worst part of it all,
Is that I let you.
I let you
Hurt me.
I let you
Drag me down.
No more.
That's not going to happen
I'm tired
Of feeling less than human.
And I'm tired
Of wanting you.
It's over,
I'm through.
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| Some Day All Over Again |
| 05.11.04 (8:47 am) [edit] |
Some day I will get over you.
Some day I will stop loving and caring about you.
Some day I will end all my pain and suffering.
Some day I will forget all our memories.
Some day I will be able to live without you.
Some day I will be able to live without your friendship.
Some day I will find someone who cares about me the way I care about you.
Some day I will stop hurting myself because of you.
Some day I will reliese that you don't care, because if you did you wouldn't act this way.
Some day I will stop listening to your lies.
Some day I will be able to look at you and not want you.
Some day I will be able to look at you and feel nothing.
Some day I will feel nothing.
And that day is today. I'm tired of feeling. I'm tired of hurting myself. It's too bad I didn't relieze you didn't care earlier, because now instead of hurting myself because of you, I hurt myself because I'm addicted. I can't stop now.
Why do you have to be this way?
Why do you push people away when they start getting close to you?
Do you do this all the time, or is it just me??
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| You |
| 05.09.04 (7:06 pm) [edit] |
[i][b]You
Held me when I needed you.
You
Always knew the right things to say.
You
Were always there for me.
Or so I thought. :evil:
You
Really didn't care.
You
Never really listened.
You
Were never close to me.
So why was I so naive? :?
You
Played me bad
You
Took everything from me.
Then I gave you a second chance,
And you do the same thing. :x
I'm tired of hurting. :(
I'm honestly sad. :cry:
So why do I keep
Letting you hurt me? :? [/b][/i]
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| Sometimes (Again, but different) |
| 04.30.04 (4:51 pm) [edit] |
[i][i][/i][b]Sometimes you can’t help but love somebody even if you don’t want to.
Sometimes you can’t let go of something you want so bad.
Sometimes you need something so bad you can’t see what’s right in front of you.
Sometimes you want someone so bad you can’t see the person right in front of you that really loves you.
Sometimes you got to let go.
Sometimes you love someone so much you don’t want them to get hurt, but in doing this you actually hurt that person.
Sometimes you feel something that no one else can.
Sometimes you want to feel nothing but feel everything.
Sometimes you want something so bad you are blind to everything going on around you.
Sometimes you feel so bad you make everyone around you feel bad too.
Sometimes you want something to happen so bad that you imagine it and begin to think it’s reality.[/b][/i]
:? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :?
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| Sometimes |
| 04.20.04 (6:47 pm) [edit] |
Sometimes people are so stupid and I hate them. :evil: But then I relieze that they're only human and they have their flaws. No one's perfect, no matter how hard we try. :shock: Big shock right, everyone always says that, but you don't really believe that until you experience it first hand. Once you do experience it first hand, it's like you begin to see things that you don't normally see. Sometimes, if you have an opened mind you see the person's flaws, but that only makes the person's good qualities shine even brighter than before. :P
Then sometimes you go through things in your life, like lossing someone close to you or someone breaking your heart, and you think it's the end of the world. :roll: But then one day you relieze that it's not the end of the world. And you're a better person for getting on with your life. Not that you'll ever forget the experience, though. It will always be with you no matter what.
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| Fuck People |
| 04.12.04 (5:31 pm) [edit] |
Fuck people who say you can't do something that you really want to do. :evil:
Fuck people who say you'll never be good enough.:oops:
Fuck people who put you down just so they can feel better. :roll:
Fuck people who say their your friend but really aren't. :x
Fuck people who never give you a chance to prove yourself to them. :o
Fuck people who say how stupid someone is and goes and acts just like them. :twisted:
Fuck people who call people whores and bitches, but in reality they are the whores and bitches. :P
Fuck people who want to be something they're not.
Fuck people who hate other people just because they're better than them in some way. :lol:
Fuck people who act like they want you when you're alone, but when they're around other people they act like they don't even know you. :twisted:
Fuck people who want some, but can't get any because they're too ugly. :D
Fuck people who think they're sexy and hot, when they are really just fat and ugly. Cover yourself. No one wants to see that. :)
Fuck people who act like they're two when they're 15 years old. :evil:
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| Tips For Life |
| 04.09.04 (5:47 pm) [edit] |
Life's only terrible if you make it that way.
You're only young once, so don't try to grow up too fast.
Don't under estimate yourself, you can do anything you set your mind to.
Listen to your friends, they do know what's best for you, even if you don't.
If you have one good friend, you're doing good in the world.
Never give up on true love.
Love shouldn't hurt.
Real friends are always there for you no matter what, if they aren't lose them.
Don't stick your finger in a light socket. (that one's for you Ronica)
Believe in yourself and others will follow.
Don't believe everything you hear.
Boyfriends come and go, but a true friend stays forever.
If you have to choose between your boyfriend or your best friend, always go with your best friend (they'll stay with you longer, and they don't want you to have sex with them). LOL
Your friends will be there to cheer you up when your boyfriend breaks up with you, your boyfriend....will be with another girl.
Don't take high school seriously, it's just for fun.
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| How are you supposed to deal?? |
| 04.03.04 (5:59 pm) [edit] |
How are you supposed to deal with someone who says they're your friend one minute and then they call you a bitch (to your face) the next?? :evil:
How are you supposed to deal with someone who is so into theirself they can't see that no one really likes them, and the people who say they do only say that because that person has something they want?? :?
How are you supposed to deal with losing someone you called your very best friend only because you two got into a little fight over nothing?? :cry:
How are you supposed to deal with feeling so lost in the world and you don't know where to turn, but still put on a happy face and act like everything is okay?? :(
How are you supposed to deal with talking to someone for about a year and then all the sudden not talk to them and not care at all, and if you do they don't care?? :oops:
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| Cry |
| 03.27.04 (4:25 pm) [edit] |
When somethings happen in your life you can't help but cry. :cry: And sometimes it's a good thing to cry. I don't think it is possible to never cry in your life. People see crying as a bad thing, and sometimes if you cry over stupid things it is, or if you cry just to get attention it is. However when you are really hurt then you have ever right to cry.
I, myself, feel that crying sometimes is a sign of weakness. :( And I don't like crying in front of people and I don't. I don't cry to get attention, I don't want or need attention. I only cry when I'm really hurt physically or emotionally, and when I do I make sure I'm alone. I hate when people cry over stupid things. :x
Make comments and say what you think about the issue of crying. Is it a sign of weakness, or is it just something that you need to do every once in awhile??
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| Gossip |
| 03.24.04 (4:55 pm) [edit] |
Gossip is the worst thing that could happen to a person. :evil: Gossip can ruin people's reputations and lives. All the bad gossip gets spread quicker than good gossip. Have you ever noticed that?? :? Why is that?? Because people love to hear bad things about other people, whether it's true or not. Everybody does this. You hear something bad that has happened to somebody and you pass it on to one of your friends who passes it on to one of their friends and so on and so on. Then when ever someone finally gets up the balls to ask the person if it's true or not, they normally find out that everything got blown up and what really happened was nothing. But that rumor still sticks with the person. :oops:
Good things about people sometimes get turned into bad things. For example, I am going to this program over the summer at PURDUE university. So, if I tell someone about that they might go off and say something like, "Oh my god, you will not believe what Melissa just did. She was all bragging about how she's going to PURDE and everything. It's like she thinks she's better than everyone else now." And so then everyone would think that I look down on them as nothing and not want to talk to me because they think that I'm stuck up. :cry:
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| Liars |
| 03.21.04 (4:07 pm) [edit] |
Our school is full of liars. And anyone who says anything different doesn't know what they are talking about. There is hardly anyone who is really truthful.
Example: They'll say that they are your friend, but all they want are the guys you hang around with.
Example: They say they like your outfit, hair, or whatever, but they're real just thinking how much better it would look on them.
Example: They say they think that your ideas and your creativity are great, but they are really thinking how stupid you are.
No one is truly theirselves. Everyone is trying to pretend to be someone they're not, just to get people to like them. They're scared that if they show their real self that no one will like them. Or, they are trying to hind something that they don't want anyone to know or see. Some will act a certain way just to protect themselves because they think that if they don't let anyone get close to them, they won't get hurt. And everyone does it, whether they admit to it or not is their problem.
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| Shit happens |
| 03.18.04 (2:53 pm) [edit] |
You trust someone only to find out that everything they ever told you was a lie. Shit happens.
Your life is perfect, then you make a mistake and everything falls apart. Shit happens.
Once you make a mistake, it will follow you for the rest of your life. No one will forget it. Shit happens.
You go out with someone you like and you guys break up. Shit happens.
You and your best friend just really start getting close, then you find out that she might not be coming back next year. Shit happens.
You find another friend and you find out that they are only your friend because you have something they want. Shit happens.
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| How's it possible?! |
| 03.15.04 (5:32 pm) [edit] |
How's it possible for people to say something so special to you, but not mean it. :shock: And you believe them, then you find out that everything they said to you was a lie.
How's it possible for some to be so close to a person one day, and so far away the next. :? They say that you are the only person they let get that close, then a little while later, they say that you aren't even their friend any more and that you are nothing, dirt. :(
How's it possible for people to want something they know they can never have, but want it any way. :? They go on trying to tell themselves if they do this it will get them closer to that person, when in real life they have absolutly no chance at all with them. :cry:
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| New way of seeing things |
| 03.09.04 (5:32 pm) [edit] |
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I guess I was wrong to say everything was bad, but with everything going on in my life right now what do you expect. :? I mean, me and Heather got into a big fight. And me and Shawn got into a lot of big fights. :cry: Things weren't going real great for me. Now me and Heather are friends again, I guess. And me and Shawn, well, there's no fixing that problem. I will admit that I was really depressed when we did break up because I did like him. And even though I did really like him, I have moved on. :D I finally realized that there was just no fixing the problem.
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